Introducing Independence 

Watching kids learn to do new things can be such a bittersweet moment. As adults, we can find ourselves offering too much help, over prompting, or just completing activities for kiddos in hopes that they will know we will always be there to support them no matter the need.

Children can become reliant on assistance and resistant to change when not given the opportunity to explore new activities and learn to complete tasks on their own. Independence can give children confidence, resilience, and purpose. When you know you can complete tasks with valid effort you increase your willingness to try and not give up. You trust in your own abilities to handle challenges. It is important that we find ways to connect and engage children in daily tasks that give them a desire to participate and help us find a way to secure our bond as they need us less. Here are a few ideas we can use to make daily activities as fun as we can! 

• Imagine- Tell a story. Invent a story about saving the world from garbage or treasure hunting while cleaning drawers or closets. As a bonus you can take turns adding to the story for increased buy in.  

• Narrate- Give a play by play. Talk child through activities as you are doing them. This can be started as soon as they are born. Performing in a sing-songy voice can also increase chances child will memorize words and begin singing along during activities. 

• Play- Turn the task into a game. Cleaning up laundry or toys on the floor can turn into a sporting event by just turning a laundry bin or container on it’s side. Shoot a basket or score a goal to put items back where they belong. You can even add to the fun by making a scoring system.  

• Time- Race against a timer. Challenge the kiddo to see how many things they can complete within a time limit. How many buttons can you do in 3 mins?  

• Challenge-Make a mission. Set the scene to an adventure to get dressed. Have a preferred object set up with a note describing what needs to be complete in order to have a Mission complete! 

• Personify. Make objects talk. “Hey Mr. foot it really looks like you want to get into my sock. Open wide sock. Aaaah. Big pull over those toes. A perfect fit. Thanks for your help kiddo!” 

• Music- Create a playlist. Encourage child to dance and sing while completing chores to make them feel less like work. Bonus if you pick songs that correlate with the activity they are completing.  

• Movement- Add some action. Pair activities with actions or create a whole obstacle course for your morning routine. Crawl to get your toothbrush, brush your hair while standing on one foot, spin 3x then put on a sock.  

• Visual- Make a schedule. Let child know in advance what they are going to do. Having the child get to pick something they want to do that can be completed after the activity they need to complete can help create buy in.  

• Collaborate- Do things together. Brush your teeth beside each other in the mirror. Help pick out each other’s clothes before putting them on. 

• Offer Choices- Give child power. Do you want to put on your pants or shirt first? Do you want to pretend to be a turtle or a cheetah when we put on our shoes? Do you want a red or blue toothpaste? The more control a child has the more they feel included in activity which increases motivation to complete activities.  

• Celebrate Effort- Give specific praise. Describe to the child what you liked about what they did. I love how you squeezed your toothpaste on your toothbrush. You rubbed your hands together really well. You tried really hard to pull your sock over all your toes. The more a child is praised for their effort typically correlates with how willing they are to at least try challenging activities in the future. When they are told what exactly you liked about their efforts they are also more likely to try to perform activity.  

• Expert- Recognize their strengths. You are so good at pushing with your thumbs. I think you should try to push this button all the way through the hole on your shirt 

• Helper- Let them know you need their help. Allow your child to assist in completing activities. Model trying activity but just not getting it quite right and asking them for help. “Hmm, I just can’t get my sock over my toes today, do you think you could help me?”

It is important to realize that a kiddo will likely not go from dependent to independent overnight. Inviting children to learn tasks in a fun way will help them want to try the activity, but to avoid frustration we should always be there to support them as they are working towards reaching their highest level of ability. It is always reasonable to reach out to an occupational therapist for services if child needs help developing skills necessary for completing daily tasks! 

Laura Graves, OTD, OTR/L